Only famous
by MariLyn's Mello
Summary: With one flash, what was ours was taken...
1. Chapter 1

**Lalalalala.**

**This is a idea that was eating me (again).**

**I do not own the Boosh, if I did, the kiss would've been taken to the bedroom. lol.**

**Dedicated to the readers!**

White light.

Operating light.

A white sun.

A flash.

That was all I needed to know that we'd been paparatsied.

Julian looked totally stunned, lying on the hard wooden floor with his jeans down to his knees, converse just sticking out from the bottom of them. His smokey brown hair was everywhere from the sweat that made his skin shine, his forehead, the back of his neck, behind his ear. He didn't know what had just happened, he just sat there like a animal caught in a pair of headlights, erection bulging out in his black Y fronts.

I was scared.

Because I knew what the flash was from.

A camera.

And as always, behind the flash and fancy camera, was a reporter...

I looked just as shocked as Julian, crossing my arms over my naked chest even there was no point.

They'd already took the picture they needed.

Taken the secret that was once mine and Julians away.

A picture of a very drunk Julian Barratt.

And a very hard Noel Fielding.

Together.

Under a table.

How did he find us?

Then I remembered thinking that I saw someone following me as I walked into the club with Julian, a man.

With a camera.

I thought nothing of it.

I would've screamed and cried and banged my fists on the floor until they bled if I could snap out of my haze.

But there was no point anyway.

They'd taken the photo.

They'd taken a piece of our love away.

I was still on Julian, my cock pressing against bottom half of his leg. The heavy electro that pumped around us got louder as words started to form from a singers mouth like magic.

_**"I dunno why, I got it so bad.**_

_**And somehow I've fallen out of the frypan, and into the fire"**_

And these are the words that echoed in my ears as the reporter leaned up from squatting and pushed past people.

And walked away, patting his faithful camera that would get him the raise he was looking for.

I looked Julian in the eye with a scared expression.

He looked at me with the shocked expression that showed he had no idea, he then realised why I was so scared and he sweared under his breath, not moving me as he faced the top of the table.

Julian was worried.

So was I.

We'd been paparatsied in the most horrid of situations.

In no sooner than a day, the picture would spread like a weed...

And thats when I realised how truthful those lines of electro were to me...

**Reviews are like Goffic Cupcakes!**

**Loves!**


	2. Chapter 2

**Ok next chapter.**

**Sorry I don't email the readers a thanks and hello who review on my story, I will do this soon!**

**I do not own the Boosh, Noel Fielding And Julian Barratt do (Eh, spelling it right now. Do I get a prize? XD)**

**Dedicated to the readers (And those Boosh figurines, I was laughing at then for an hour. They're just so small and pixelish!!)XD**

**Thanks!!!**

**(NOTE!: Noel and Julian in this isn't based on true events or anything. I think they smoke, I'm just guessing)**

Julian pulled his jeans up and went into a run mixed with a stumble, leaving me under a dirty night table with nothing more to do than drown in multicoloured alcohol and wasted tears.

Was he going to get the reporter?

Would he bribe him?

Fat chance considering his wallets here.

Some people gave their friends weird looks as Julian ran out through the door, the sudden outburst in the club the new topic on everyone's plates.

The Boosh boys snapped in a gay pose.

An older looking waiter in an Old style waiter's uniform simply snickered and began pushing through the crowds once more to deliver a silver tray of pink drinks filled to the rim.

Everyone just kept going with what they were doing.

What was I supposed to do?

I couldn't get back to kissing a man that wasn't there.

I couldn't giggle about it.

I couldn't snicker, put my shirt on and pretend nothing happened.

I looked at my black and blue flannel long sleeved shirt from were it had been ripped off, it soaked in a puddle of beer or God knows what silently. I grabbed my hair with both hands, so angry at everything and everyone.

I don't care what people think of Noel Fielding.

They can think whatever they want.

I just don't care anymore.

I grabbed the shirt and put in on anyway, shuddering at the touch of the cold against my bare skin. I pulled myself up to a totally different table. For a start, dozens of beer and wine glasses lay either shattered or on its side, the table top coloured purple from red wine. There were several chip packets, one cheese and onion half full. But I realized it was my table as I saw my faithful bowler hat resting on the only clean spot on the table, next to Julian's wallet and my cirgarettes.

And that's when I realized something that had been staring me in the face for longer than a while.

We were only famous.

That's it.

So we got caught for being in love.

So what!?

What's done is done.

People are in love everyday, so why does everybody have to be so interested about having a what would've been a shag under a table.

People do it all the time!

That's what trashy clubs like this are here for!

Can't people just leave our love alone?

Can't they just mind their own business?

I just don't care anymore.

I CAN'T BE BOTHERED TO CARE!

I scanned the table until I found a glass that was at least half full of booze, snapping one from its post and drinking it dry.

What about Julian? Where is he? I looked around, but my vision had already become blurred.

_He's gone to get the photo._

Why!? There is no point, I answered to myself.

_How do you know that?_

I grabbed my head and screamed, this voice had to be silenced. I raised my hand and summoned a waiter. She was a pretty girl, with white blonde hair and black underneath. She was dressed as a roller skate waitress, a baby pink and blue balloon dress white retro roller skates and high socks.

"What can I get you darlin'?" She had a cute cockney accent.

Like Dee.

Dee.

_Your Girlfriend Noel, you're drunk and you can't remember her._

My blood ran cold, heart skipping beats and trying to make up.

She'd see the picture, what would she say?

She'd understand.

I'll just say I got drunk.

Very drunk.

She'll understand.

But what would she say when she finds out we were both very aware of what was happening.

"You alright love?"

A voice popped out of nowhere, then I remembered the waitress.

"Um yer… Can I have some red wine?" I said, trying not to sound too drunk. I reached to Julian's wallet and pulled out twenty pounds.

_You have to pay him back, besides he did buy all the drinks._

Shut up voice! Of course I will pay him back! I'm Noel Bloody Fielding!

_Yeah, whatever._

"What kind love?" She asked in a tone as sweet as candy, but the question annoyed me.

"Anything! I don't care! Cheapest red wine you've got!" I exclaimed, handing her the twenty pounds and reaching for my cigarettes. She skated off, I couldn't help but look at her arse in that dress that tipped up so you could see white boy shorts underneath.

_Ok, so now your perving on other women. Very smart Noel!_

I lit my cigarette; drawing sweet smoke in my lungs that I knew would one day kill me. I brew out a cloud of smoke, letting it wander to the ceiling where in joined the mist of cigar and God knows what else smoke.

A glass of red wine was placed in front of me, next to the change. I looked up to thank the waitress, but she had disappeared.

I held the glass up to the flashing lights, smiling at it how an old friend would to another.

_Don't do this to yourself Noel!_

I smiled stupidly.

"Well, bottoms up!" And I flooded the voice away in a sea of booze and love.

**Wow, you read it all?!**

**Aren't you a smart cookie!**

**Sorry for any spelling mistakes.**

**Thanks and Loves! XD 3**


	3. Noel

**May put up the rating, I dunno.**

**I don't own The Boosh but I was that close to meeting Michael Fielding so I think thats something.**

**Dedicated to the readers.**

I was locked lips with a guy whose name I didn't even know, he slid his hands under my shirt and caressed my pale flesh. His body was pressed against mine, I could feel that he was turned on, way more than me.

Who wouldn't be turned on by the great Noel Fielding?

The biggest fucking idiot in the world.

Yayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy!

Yep, I'm drunk.

My love for Julian had been pushed away by the coloured alcohol, I no longer felt guilty, sad or angry at what I was doing.

I felt...ok, I guess.

The little voice that was like the angel on my shoulder and been silenced after several glasses of red wine bought by a faceless stranger. I wish it was here, telling me what I had done, because everything from the last long time ago was a video of blurred colours and strangers.

I had somehow moved seats sometime before and was now being dry humped on a sofa that smelt of booze and was dotted in cigarette burns. Julian's wallet and my hat were probably long gone, butI was more concerned about the cigarettes for some weird reason. My vision was spinning like a childrens carousel, I had to focus on one spot to focus clearly. This man on top of me had straight short hair that was either purple or black, his eyes were a forest green and his skin was slightly tanned. I knew where we were going, a shag on a club couch.

That's trashy.

I didn't like it, but I didn't do anything to stop.

Only the few strays remained in the club, either shagging or unconscious. I don't remember how this man and I met, all I can recall is that we started to kiss a pickle ago. My poor abused flannel shirt was pulled off for the second time tonight and thrown through the air, only before it was by-.

Julian.

Joo-li-an.

Where was Julian?

Ran off after a unicorn, or a baker.

No, it was a reporter.

Went to get the picture of the Mona Lisa.

No us! Us shagging.

Did I shag him?

Yes, no?

I need to find him, anything could've happened, he could've tripped over a giant nurofen. God, I could use a nurofen right now.

What time is it, how long has he been gone.

One hour, two; I hate to think how long.

I need to find him.

I tried to get up but the man's legs were slung around me, he immediately grabbed my wrists as I began to struggle; pushing them to the armrest so hard that I thought nails where being hammered into my sweat covered skin.

"Please" I said in a slurred tone. "I need to go-".

The man placed a hard kiss to my resistant lips that had once been so open to any stranger that would buy me a drink. He looked at me with eyes that told me he wasn't going to let me go.

"What's the rush Babes?" He whispered as he bit my earlobe and drawed blood. "We were just getting started" He began to shuffle out of his pants, jeans, whatever he was wearing to cover his growing erection; kicking his shoes aside.

I lay still under the man, too scared to move.

Oh shit.

I was trapped.

No-one would help me, no-one cared.

I had heard story after story, some making me want to scream they were so horribly cruel.

But each gave off the same moto for the victim.

You got them interested, it's your fault.

Now I knew what they meant.

I squirmed under him, trying to break free from his thighs that held me in place.

"Pleazzzzz! I'm sorry but I have to g-go!"

I could feel tears in my eyes as he undid my belt and began pulling my skinnies down.

That's when I struck.

He had moved down to pull them off, stopping at my feet. I pulled my left leg out from under him and kicked him in the groin, he screamed and grabbed his injured dick. I would've smiled if I had time, laughed at what I had done. But I didn't, I ran.

Ran for all I was worth.

Pulled my skinnies up and I ran out of the door of the club I knew I would never visit again, my poor blue flannel shirt forgotten and to be sent to the fate of a thrift shop of a garbage bag.

I kept running into walls from the booze, I needed to throw it all up badly.

I ran into a dirty alley bare chest and with bare feet, leaning against a brick wall that was covered in tags.

I had been lucky.

So lucky.

I could still be in there, crying and screaming as he fucked me up the arse with no love towards me.

I am lucky, I should be thankful for that, but how am I going to get home?

Call Micky.

Miggle.

Michael!

But as I went to get my phone from my front pocket, all I felt was fabric. I screamed in fury. Fuck!

"Why did you leave?"

He let a chill of fear and emptiness run through me before he attacked, pushing me against the brick wall so my bare chest was scratched and bruised. I tried to move but he grabbed my arm, twisting it around my back so if I moved the bone would crack and my arm would snap like a breadstick.

I began to sob as he ripped my pants down once more.

"I believe we have some unfinished business, Noel"

Noel?

Was that my name?

Yes, yes it was.

How did he know my name?

Did I tell him?

I was a celebrity, that's how he knew my name.

That's what started all this in the first place.

Is that why he was torturing me like this? To see if I'm human enough to scream? If Noel Fielding can pull a face that's not a smile.

He slid his hands down in my boxers, stroking my length that became horribly hard.

"No! Please! Stop, please! Help!" I tried to scream, but car horns and loud music blared over my yells that were like the flutter of a moth's wing.

"Get off me you bastard!" I screamed out of hope once more. I heard him giggle in my ear, thats when I started to cry.

And when fate took effect...

**You know the drill, get a ticket and wait at the end of the line. Don't lose it! You'll need that! :D**

**Yer I'm suffering from Gold cow disease (Don't stress, it's not real, it's just when it's so cold I go a bit loopy).**

**Reviews are like Satsuma fights in the snow, very nice indeed.**

**Loves.**


	4. Julian

**Ok, another chapter.**

**Tell me what YOU think or want to happen because I was thinking of making a sequel and I wanted to know what you (The fabulous readers) thought of it.**

**READ RAED READ THIS BIT PLEASE! Just saying Julian isn't married in this story (Made her name Melissa cause I forget her real name), he just has a girlfriend and so does Noel. XD**

**The girl in this is based on my best friend, just to let you know. **

**Dedicated to the readers and writers who write and read for the Boosh, you rock. And Michael J, R.i.p**

No, he's gone.

Drowned in a sea of strangers.

Gone forever.

I felt like crying in the middle of the street, there was nothing to lose if I did, my reputation is already down the plughole. People pushed past me as I stood in shock in the middle of the crowded London sidewalk, a sea a murmurs and laughter filling my ears.

Hm, tourists, they should leave London alone.

Like how the world of media should leave me alone.

I love Noel.  
I don't care how many bad looks I get or how many whips from the cat of nine tails I get in Hell, I will not stop loving Noel until the day I die. He had been my love since I first saw him while doing stand-up. It wasn't the best of times to spot the love of my life, as I couldn't remember any of my routine and my eyes would not move from the angel that I had just seen. Every lonely night when I had needed a release, Noel had always been the man in my fantasies, the one to make me come.

I loved, love him so much.

So why was I scared if people knew, it _was_ the truth and always would be.

What scared me so much that I would run after a random face that seemed familiar in a crowd of strangers just for evidence of our love?

I wanted people to know, didn't I?

No, maybe.

Yes.

I wanted to be able to hold his hand and walk down the high street with no more than a smile and a red heart. I wanted to argue pointless topics with him just so I could hug him after and show how much I was sorry. I wanted to share my empty heart with someone I **truly **loved. I loved Melissa, I did love her. But she didn't compare to what I felt for Noel, something that cannot be put into words.

I'll have to tell her, not just some 'its not working out' excuse.

The truth, that I loved my best friend more than I loved her.

It'll hurt, she'll feel cheated, upset and angry.

But theres no other way.

The only thing I want in life was Noel.

For the first time in a long time, I knew everything was going to be ok.

"Excuse me?"

I turned to be face to face with a girl who was surprisingly almost as tall as me but looked about fifteen. She had wild brown black curls that lay down here back and chocolate brown eyes like mine. She wore a black woolen dress that hung naturally from her tall but slim frame and held a pen and paper out to me.

"Are you Julian Barratt?"

I was stunned, meeting someone who I could easily tell about my love for Noel for the first time was mind blowing.

"Um, Yes I am" I said uncertainly, sticking my hands in my pockets and trying not to look at my feet.

I was always nervous around people I didn't know; Noel was always the social butterfly.

Noel.

He's still in the club.

How long has it been?

An hour of pointless chasing, for what it seemed I was in a trance.

I have to find him, knowing him he's drunk all my money away and is snogging the DJ.

I need to tell him my plan; I need to release him too.

Soon we'll both be free.

"Can you sign this? I absolutely love the Boosh, I envy you for playing guitar and drums so well. When I play, it sounds like a load of shit!"

She smiled and blushed rouge, she had a pixie kind of nose, it made her look like a faerie.

She was really cute.

I took the pen and paper from her hand quickly, and for the seconds of time I had, thought of what to write.

Love you, from Julian?

My prettiest fan?

Cheers, from Barratt?

None of them seemed fit to write to her, they seemed so...

Fake.

So I wrote something I'd never written before, and placed it in her hand. She let out a genuine smile, and went to walk off and disappear in the crowd.

"Wait!" I shouted, walking after her. She turned, and as she did, I kissed her cheek gently.

I could hear whispers from the crowd that swam past us, her breathing stopped and she simply stood like she'd just been shot.

"Thank you" I said, and ran in the direction of the club.

As the world passed a blur and I gained grumbles from people who I pushed past, I read in my mind what I had wrote.

_Thank you._

_Love Julian Barratt._

_......_

At last.

The bright fluro lights glittered from inside the club, crowds of tourists and couples left behind.

No-one except people who knew London came here.

The place was empty except for the few drunks who stumbled out the club doors. I could hear no laughing or screaming from inside, for once I could hear the actual music.

I can do this.

I didn't look the type to go to clubs, I only went for the booze.

And to be with Noel.

This club was a first for us, it just happened to be in the way of our path for the night. A night of so much alcohol that would let us out of control. But as I went to walk into the club doors, I heard a desperate scream from down the dark alley that sat next to the club. It was quite, but I could just make it out.

"No! Please! Stop, please! Help!"

Noel? I walked into the dark alley, and saw two figures silhouettes. One had another pushed another against a wall, his hands forced down the other person's skinnies.

Skinnies?

The other shadow had a feather cut with pale skin, crooked features and blue eyes to match.

Noel, my Noel Fielding.

"Get off me you bastard!" He screamed again, struggling under the other man's body.

That's when I snapped.

Before I knew it, I had spun the man around brutally, my fist connecting with his cheek in such a way, I heard teeth crack. He fell to the floor unconscious, blood dripping down his cheek. I breathed through my nose, all I could see was red in a black alleyway.

All I was thinking of was what would've happened if I hadn't heard Noel, I would gone into the club.

And It would've happened just outside.

I turned to see a man I almost didn't recognize, a man with a messy black mullet and bleeding bare feet. Pale skin covered in bruises and scratches that bled and turned his skin scarlet, crooked features covered by his hands and blue eyes that were wide with fear. He fell to his knees, shutting his eyes and hugging his naked torso.

I fell to my knees, holding my arms out to Noel. He jumped into them without any second thought, sobbing and wiping tears on my shirt.

"Noel" I whispered and ran my fingers through his hair.

The thing that seemed so brilliant before has lost its sparkle, and was left to rust on the ground as Noel cried away his sins and our love was pushed back into the shadows.

**My guinea pig is called Julian (I wonder why? XD), and he says hello to everyone reading this.**

**Thanks for reading.**

**Loves. **


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